


You need me to be with you

by fardareismai



Series: Where You Lead [11]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bachelorette Party, Bar crawl, F/F, F/M, Stag Nights & Bachelor Parties, gilmore girls 'verse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-01-12 00:43:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18435512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fardareismai/pseuds/fardareismai
Summary: The wedding is only about six weeks away, and the weekend of Thanksgiving the friends go out and have one last night to be crazy kids before the first of them FINALLY gets married!Part of the "Where You Lead" 'verse, an OUAT series set in the Gilmore Girls universe.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> *author sheepishly reappears*  
> Okay guys, grad school is kicking my ass SO MUCH MORE than I ever anticipated. So... even though I SAID I would be back with more WYL 'verse soon, it wasn't nearly as soon as I'd hoped.
> 
> THAT SAID, the wedding story is completely finished, so we're going to get this one and that one seamlessly, without any break between. There might be a break again after the wedding, but I have high hopes for my writing this summer!
> 
> (Do any of you cats like the A Court of Thorns and Roses series? Did any of you read my Fae!Emma stories? If so, stay tuned in early-to-mid June for News About That (TM))

"Come on, Swan, we're going to miss the festivities if you don't get a move on! Mulan and Ruby are already checked in at the hotel!"

Regina sighed, standing with Killian at the bottom of the stairs. "Timeliness was never her forte, unfortunately."

"Aye," Killian said darkly. "I'd noticed."

Regina looked him over carefully. "I notice that you don't seem nearly as enthusiastic about this event as Emma is, Mr. Jones."

Killian snorted. "Emma enjoys any chance to dress like a fool," he said, glaring up the stairs at the still-closed bedroom door. "I prefer to retain some modicum of dignity."

"Really?" Regina asked, smirking. "You've known Emma  _how_ long and you still think that excuse will work? I hadn't taken you for a stupid man."

That made Killian's glower break, finally, and he smiled.

"Aye well… you're probably right. Main trouble is that Emma and Ruby planned this, and they won't tell us exactly what we're doing. I'm a few years older than both of them, and wonder if they took my aged constitution into account."

That made Regina laugh out loud. "Oh dear," she said, shaking her head. "If you're infirm, I'm afraid I must be on death's door. Come on, Mr. Jones, I've learned that watching Emma's door like that doesn't make her move any faster. Give me the grand tour and then she won't have to when she's finally ready."

Killian sighed, but led Regina into the living room where Henry was playing some kind of Knights in Armour video game.

"Only another hour of that, Lad," Killian said.

Henry ignored this, as he ignored most things while he played.

Killian turned to Regina. "Henry's friend Grace is coming over, they're working on a final project tonight. Poster board and art supplies are up in the sewing room- Henry knows where they are. My friend Robin Loxley- you met him at Thanksgiving-" Killian didn't break expression, but Regina blushed slightly, "-is watching Grace while Jeff is with us, so you and he and Roland might watch a movie or something while the children work."

"How did you swing that?" Regina asked, almost in a whisper.

"None of my doing," Killian whispered back. "Just lucky, I suppose."

He raised his voice to normal levels and began to lead Regina into the kitchen as he spoke.

"I bought groceries this week, so there's actually food that can be cooked," he said, gesturing to the fridge. "Or there's always pizza. That's the menu clipped to the front of the fridge, it's the only place in town that delivers. The numbers are mobiles of the two of us and all the people we'll be with, Henry's pediatrician, Robin, and Granny." Killian shrugged. "You shouldn't need most of them, but they're there in case. Nine-one-one works like anywhere else. Any questions?"

Killian turned to face her to find Regina looking at him speculatively.

"What?" he asked, defensively.

"You're buying groceries and collecting numbers for Henry's well-being?" Regina said, nodding toward the list on the fridge. "That's not Emma's handwriting."

"She has all the numbers-" Killian began, but Regina interrupted.

"I know she does- she's an excellent mother and keeps everything she needs for Henry's life. But she wouldn't have remembered to put the phone numbers somewhere I could find until I'd asked. You thought of it."

Killian scowled. "We're… dating," he said, stammering slightly over the term. "I'm around enough, I should help."

Regina smiled. "You're a couple," she corrected. "A unit. Now don't look like that, I'm not saying I either mind or disapprove, I don't. I just thought you should have fair warning."

"I-" Killian began, but he was interrupted by a clatter on the stairs. It seemed that Emma was finally ready to go.

"Here," she said, breathlessly, handing Killian two bags. "Yours is the blue one."

"We might have gotten out faster if you'd let me pack for myself," Killian grumbled.

"You're not allowed to see your costume until we get there," Emma said. She turned to her mom and hugged her. "Thanks for watching Henry tonight, Mom. Killian gave you the run-down? We'll be back sometime tomorrow afternoon."

"Yes, I think everything is in place. I think I'm going to make lasagna, since Mr. Jones was kind enough to buy ingredients," Regina said.

"I told him not to, but some men don't listen. Henry'll be pleased though," Emma said. "He loves your lasagna."

Emma hurried into the living room and kissed the top of Henry's head.

"Only an hour more of that game, Kid," she said. "Be good for Grandma, okay?"

Henry only grunted, and Emma rolled her eyes at Killian and Regina.

"I'm raising a charmer," she said.

The three adults made their way together to the porch. Killian hopped down to put the bags in the trunk and Emma turned to her mother again.

"Hey, thanks again for watching the kids."

"You deserve a night out with your friends. You have fun tonight, you and your Mr. Jones and all the rest," Regina said.

Emma grinned wickedly. "And you have fun tonight with Robin."

Regina's eyes went wide. "Did he tell you?"

"He's my boyfriend mom, and you're my mother, and Robin's my friend. He wouldn't keep that from me. Besides, even if he hadn't, I have  _eyes_ and I was at your Thanksgiving dinner. You're not nearly as subtle as you think you are."

"Been awhile since I had something to be subtle about," Regina muttered.

"Well if you want it, you've got my blessing. Robin's great, Roland's a doll, and you deserve to have someone in your life so-" Emma shrugged to punctuate the sentence.

Regina looked at her daughter oddly. "I really appreciate that, Emma."

"Come on, Swan!" Killian called from where he stood at the driver's side door of the Bug. "We were supposed to be on the road twenty minutes ago!"

"Be sure Henry's off the game in an hour!" Emma shouted over her shoulder as she ran down to the car.

Regina said nothing, just shook her head and waved at the pair as they drove off.

~?~?~?~?~

"Bloody hell," Killian said.

Emma looked up from her phone, on which she'd been watching the GPS most of the way to Portland. Killian was peering out the windshield at the glass-and-chrome facade of the hotel they'd been directed to. Emma was impressed herself- Ruby had told her which chain she'd gone with, but Emma hadn't expected it to be quite so nice.

"How, precisely, are we affording this?" Killian asked as he waited at the light just before the turn-in.

"I get the distinct impression that you don't trust Ruby and me," Emma said.

Killian just glared at her, and Emma shrugged. "First of all," she began, holding up her index finger, "we work in the hotel industry ourselves, and you'd be surprised at how accommodating our fellow hoteliers can be. That said," she held up her next finger, "Leo Blanchard is paying for most of it."

"Mary Margaret's dad?"

"Yeah, he was a little upset that they wouldn't let him pay for any of the wedding, so he came to Ruby, Belle, and me and asked if there was anything he could do. Ruby and I had already started planning this, and he said he wanted to help." Emma shrugged. "Who am I to turn down the opportunity to stay in a four-star rather than a crappy roadside motel?"

"Who indeed?" Killian muttered as he turned into the covered drive at the front entrance of the hotel.

"Ruby texted to say that valet is free with our rooms," Emma said, digging into her glove compartment for her extra key. "Go ahead and turn it over, we'll be walking the rest of the night."

Killian sighed at the implication, but did as he was told, handing the key with the rubberized duck cap to the young person manning the valet desk.

"Do you know how to drive a manual?" he asked, suspiciously. The kid barely looked old enough to be driving without an adult in the car.

"Yes sir," the lad said, giving him a polite smile.

"It's literally his job," Emma said as she showed the boy the voucher on her phone. "Don't be snotty. Thank you," she added to the valet with a smile.

"As you say, ma'am," the kid said, answering her smile, "it's my job. Have a great night, both of you."

As the pair walked to the entrance, Emma looked at Killian out of the side of her eye.

"Are you going to spend the whole evening refusing to have fun?" she asked. "Because you don't have to stay if you don't want."

"No," Killian said on a sigh, reaching for the entrance door before she could and opening it for her. "Sorry just… feeling grouchy."

"Have you eaten today?" Emma asked. "You get grumpy when you're hypoglycemic. I've noticed that about you."

Killian frowned as he thought about the day behind. "Now that you mention it…" he said slowly. "I had a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast but didn't stop for lunch."

Emma nodded. "Sorry about that, I should have asked earlier. Fortunately, there's pizza upstairs. Have a few slices-" she held up a finger when it looked like he was going to object. "I know pizza's not your go-to, but tonight is going to involve alcohol in quantity and I don't want you to get sick, okay?"

Killian closed his mouth and, smiling, nodded. It was novel having someone look out for him like this- noticing that he was grouchy when he didn't eat, and reminding him to do so- and he supposed he could get used to it.

At the front desk, Emma smiled sympathetically at the girl waiting there. If anyone would be sympathetic, Killian thought, it would be she.

"We're with the Blanchard-Nolan party," she said. "Swan and Jones. There should be two rooms?"

"Two?" Killian said in surprise.

"Hush," Emma said, not taking her eyes off the girl.

"Ah yes," she said, "here you are. Ms. Swan you're in room 655, and Mr. Jones, you're next door in room 657." She handed out a pair of key cards, smiling sweetly. "You've requested a late checkout, so check-out is at 3 PM. The elevators are just over there, and your room is right at the top. Please let us know if there is anything we can do to help you have a wonderful stay."

"Thanks," Emma said, picking up her bag. "I think we're going to have a great time."

"Swan," Killian said on their way to the elevators, voice low so as not to alert the girl at the desk, "I appreciate Leo's generosity as much as you do, but don't you think two rooms is excessive?"

Emma smiled like she had a secret. "What's the matter, Jones?" she teased, leaning back against the wall between the elevators and grinning. "Don't think you can go one night without me?"

Killian narrowed his eyes at her. The elevator arrived with a discrete chime at that moment, and he followed her into it without a word. The moment the doors swished shut, however, he dropped his bag and turned, quick as a snake, and pinned her to the wall.

He kissed her- not slow and deliberate, as was his wont, but hard and fast and just a little grouchy. He kissed her with everything he was feeling, and she surrendered immediately. She didn't fight with him, only gripped his shoulders and held on for the short, furious ride.

The elevator chimed for the second, third, and fourth floors. Half a second after it chimed the fifth floor, Killian pulled back and glared down into Emma's eyes, which were still smiling, if a little lust-drunk.

"Aye," he said, still moody, "I can go a night without you, but don't entirely understand why I'm being asked to do so."

The doors swished open again, and Emma gently pushed Killian away. "Just trust me for another minute," she said, picking up both of their bags and offering the blue one back to him. "It's meant to be fun, Kil. I'm not here to torture you."

Killian sighed and took his bag, following her through the halls until they came to their rooms.

Emma paused and looked at him, one eyebrow raised.

"Go on," she said, nodding at his door. "Go in."

Killian frowned, but did as asked, inserting the key and taking the knob as the light above it turned green.

When he opened the door, two cheery voices cried out together, "Killian!"

"Dave?" Killian said, confused. "Jeff?"

"We're roomies tonight!" David said, coming to the door to tug Killian inside. "Hey Emma!" he added, catching sight of her.

"Hi Dave," Emma said. She didn't even have to bother with her key, the girls had heard the commotion on the other side of the adjoining door and had popped out to greet her as well.

"Glad you made it!" Mary Margaret cried. "I was afraid you'd get lost- Apple maps sent us halfway around the block before we figured out where to go."

"We've got pizza!" Ruby said, cheerfully. "Pepperoni, cheese, and a supreme one with vegetables on it for healthy over there."

"Oi!" Killian said, his objection somewhat dampened by the fact that he had a large bite of pizza already in his mouth.

"Kil didn't have lunch," Emma explained, sitting on the bed next to Mulan and accepting a can of soda from her. "Be nice. At least until he's had something to eat."

"Fine!" Ruby said, dramatically, tossing herself onto the bed beside Emma and giving her a one-armed hug. "I can't  _wait_ to see what you've got to wear tonight."

Emma grinned.

"Speaking of which," David said, leaning against the door between the rooms, "any chance we can finally see what you girls packed for us tonight?"

"Wait, they packed for you both too?" Killian asked.

David nodded and Jeff shrugged.

"I did pack my own bag mostly," Jeff explained. "But I have a mysterious package that Ruby brought for me as well. Offhand, you guys haven't heard from Regina and Robin, have you?"

"Regina texted and said that Robin had just showed up about the time we got into Portland," Emma called through the door.

"Thanks, Em!" Jeff called back.

"Our bags?" David asked again.

The four girls looked at each other for confirmation.

"Sure!" Mary Margaret said. "Seems as good a time as any."

The girls picked up their plates and sodas and trooped into the guys' room which was suddenly way too full of people.

David was the first to get into his, and held up a bright red sweatshirt screen-printed with the outline and trim of Santa Claus' coat, cut across by the wide black belt that traditionally went with.

"You're kidding," David said, shaking his head, but grinning. "I've always heard about the Portland Santa Crawl, but I've never been to it,"

Killian frowned at the sweater- his was identical to David's. "Portland Santa Crawl?" he asked.

"You go to a bunch of bars dressed like Santa, with a bunch of other doofs dressed like Santa," David explained.

"Have you guys found your hats yet?" Jeff asked, clearly holding back a laugh.

Both David and Killian turned back to their bags and pulled out-

"No, no, no," Killian said, turning to Emma who was watching the proceedings with the same avidity she usually gave to movies starring Chris Pine.

"It's just a Santa hat," Emma said, innocently.

"It's a Santa hat with a bloody great beard attached to it!" Killian cried.

David and Jeff were much less daunted than Killian and had both put theirs on straight away and were already laughing at each other.

"Oh come on, Jones, live a little," Jeff said.

"It's probably the only way you'll keep your face warm tonight," David said.

Killian looked at the pair of them and snorted a laugh.

"You both look like idiots, you know that?" he asked.

"Sure!" Jeff said. "Now stop denying your own idiocy and join us!"

Killian looked around at the girls watching avidly and the guys waiting expectantly and sighed.

"Suppose it's not as though I had any dignity left anyway," he said, pulling the cap down over his head.

Everyone cheered when he put it on, and he flourished a bow to each corner of the room.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Happy Fanfiction Friday, my dears.**

While all of the guys were dressed the same, none of the girls were.

Mulan had chosen a full Santa suit- red velveteen coat and trousers trimmed in white, black boots, hat, and even the pipe. All she lacked was the white fluffy beard.

"I tried it," she explained to the other girls when they noted the lack, "but I couldn't drink through it."

"Fair enough," Emma said. "You're also going to be the only one of us that's actually warm."

Ruby had gone to the other extreme and was wearing a Christmas-red corset over top of a pair of red skinny jeans and a pair of heels that looked lethal. Over top of it all, she wore a black leather jacket, and looked like if Mrs. Claus had been drawn into the Sin City comics. Even the hat she settled jauntily into her hair didn't detract from the hard-edged image.

Emma had a white-trimmed red dress and wide black belt worn over a pair of candy-striped stockings and a pair of black flat-heeled boots. She topped the whole thing with her red leather jacket and a hat with a bell on it. Her earrings were sparkly Christmas trees and her lips were painted holly-berry red.

Mary Margaret had made herself a knee-length cloak in red velvet with white fur trim that she was wearing over a tea-length green dress, red stockings, and a pair of black ballet flats. Emma presented her with a Santa hat that had "Bride" picked out in gemstones on the brim. David had similar gemstones spelling out "Groom" on the back of his sweatshirt.

"Bloody hell," Killian muttered when the girls arrived in the lobby to meet the guys.

"I do hope that's a good 'bloody hell,'" Emma said, going up on tip-toes to kiss the bit of Killian's cheek not covered by his stupid hat. "It's hard to tell with you."

Killian wrapped an arm around her waist to lead her out of the lobby with the rest of the group, and leaned down to whisper in her ear.

"I thought you said you weren't here to torture me," he said, voice low and sultry. "I'm going to spend the entire night trying to keep every other Santa in New England from trying to show you his North Pole."

"How many times do I have to tell you," Emma asked, pulling out of his arm and taking his hand, "tonight is supposed to be  _fun_."

Killian tried to take her waist again, waggling his eyebrows at her, and Emma ducked him.

"Not  _that_ kind of fun, letch."

Killian grinned as he followed her out into the cold and wrapped an arm around her again as soon as he did.

"Cold, Love?" he asked.

"Oh shut up," Emma said, which made Killian laugh.

"Hey Ruby," she called ahead where Ruby and Mulan were flanking Jeff, "where do we start?"

Ruby turned to walk backward- no mean feat on heels that high- and reached into the top of her corset to withdraw a piece of paper that she unfolded.

"Roni's is the start," she said, looking down at it. "We'll pay for the tickets and get our punch cards there. Two discounted drinks per bar on the punch card, standard price for any more than that."

"And how many bars is this?" David asked, he and Mary Margaret catching up to Killian and Emma.

"Ten," Ruby called over her shoulder, having turned back around to walk forward.

"Bloody hell," Killian blanched.

"Now I definitely recognized that as a bad 'bloody hell,'" Emma said.

"Twenty drinks, Swan," Killian said. "Do you know how long it's been since I had twenty drinks in a night?"

"Cool your jets, Old Man," Emma said, patting him on the arm. "One benefit of great age is wisdom. Hence, don't drink all twenty drinks. Or order ten Shirley Temples and ten actual drinks. You're a big boy, no need to give into peer pressure."

Killian was saved having to respond to this when Mulan called back to them, "I think we're here."

"Could never have guessed," Emma answered sarcastically.

The pub before them was spilling out red-and-green clad people. It was a veritable sea of red velvet and Christmas "spirits." Killian was a bit shocked to see that he and the lads were woefully underdressed, though the girls appeared to be fine.

Sitting outside of the pub in the cold was a rat-faced sort with a sign-up sheet, cash box, and a heavy down parka selling tickets.

"Fifty dollars each," he said in a voice that was clearly being attacked by the cold.

"Fifty dollars?" Killian whispered to Emma.

"Shut up," she whispered back. "We've got this."

Mulan pulled a quantity of cash from the inside pocket of her coat and handed it over. The man counted it and nodded, tucking it away in his box, then proceeded to hand around wristbands and drink tickets.

Killian wondered what they needed wristbands for, given that they were dressed like Santa Claus, but he didn't feel like getting another elbow in the ribs and kept quiet.

"Only one map per group, I'm running low," the ticket salesman said. "You can start here at Roni's. She's got drink specials, but she's also handing out free shots of peppermint schnapps for everyone starting the night."

"That sounds perfect," Ruby said, cheerfully. "Come on gang, let's head in!"

Inside was warm and, oddly enough, somewhat quieter than the sidewalk had been. The bartender was a dark-haired, dark-eyed young woman, who could have been Regina's real daughter. She laughed as she saw the group enter.

"I like this coordination," she said, pointing at the guys. "You lose points for creativity, but you'll get a few extra for being generally cute. And you ladies look excellent. You here for the schnapps?"

"Yes," Ruby said. "I think peppermint schnapps in Santa hats are the perfect way to toast the good fortune of Mary Margaret and David's future life."

The bartender, who they could only assume was Roni, scanned the group and seemed to notice Mary Margaret's "Bride" hat. "Oh!" she cried. "Is this a bachelorette party?"

"Bachelor and bachelorette party," Emma said, turning David bodily around so that she could see his own label.

"Mazel tov," Roni said. "Schnapps all around, I think."

She pulled down seven shot glasses and poured for the group before another crowd caught her attention and she vanished.

Ruby lifted her glass and turned toward David and Mary Margaret. "What do we toast?" she asked.

"To true love," Jeff suggested.

"Inevitability," Emma said.

"In Chinese, they wish 100 years of good companionship," Mulan said.

"That reminds me of an old Irish one," Killian said, eyebrows coming together as he thought. "Here's to your coffins. May they be made of 100-year old oaks that we shall plant tomorrow. May the best of your yesterdays be the worst of your tomorrows."

"I like that one," Mulan said, nodding.

"Nope, you're all wrong," Ruby said, shaking her head. "Mary Margaret, David, may every day feel just like Christmas."

She tossed back her drink to punctuate her statement. The rest of the group laughed but drank down cheerfully, including Mary Margaret and David.

"Ugh," Mulan said, "it tastes like mouthwash!"

"Oh yeah, it's awful stuff." Roni had rejoined them and looked deeply amused at the looks on all of their faces. "Why do you think I'm giving it away for free? Now, anyone want to order a real drink?" she asked.

"Please," Mulan said, stepping forward and holding out her ticket. "What do you have on tap?"

The rest of the group gathered around, waiting their turn, when Emma's phone went off in her pocket.

She pulled it out to look at the display, and frowned to see Neal's name.

"What do you want, Neal?" she asked, thumbing it on. The sound of the name made Killian glower.

"Hello to you too, Emma. Nice way to answer the phone," Neal said back.

"Have you recently swapped bodies with Regina?" Emma asked.

"Bite your tongue. What's all that noise? Where are you?"

Emma sighed. "Not that it should matter to you, but I'm in Portland for David and Mary Margaret's bachelor and bachelorette parties."

"Are you at a bar?" Neal asked, sounding horrified.

"Yes," Emma said. "I'm nearly thirty, it's allowed."

"And where's Henry, Emma?" Neal asked, sounding annoyed.

"Him? Oh he's here too. We got him a nice fake ID and with the two-drink minimum he'll be no trouble."

"Em-"

"He's at home, doing a final school project with one of his friends, and being watched by Regina," Emma said, hotly. "Where did you think he was?"

"I never can tell with you," Neal said, nastily.

Emma sighed. "Hold on," she said into the phone, the pressed it to her chest to muffle it. "Mary Margaret," she said, "when Mulan decides on a beer, will you order me the same? I'll get you back later tonight," she added handing her friend her drink ticket.

"Do you want me-" Mary Margaret started, but Emma cut her off, shaking her head.

"I'll be fine," she said. "Nothing I haven't dealt with before."

She could feel Killian's eyes on her, but she didn't look at him, just ducked through the crowd and out the front door, around a little corner and into a relatively quiet alcove between two buildings.

"What do you want, Neal," she repeated, once she was relatively alone.

"I want Henry," Neal said, sounding angry.

"What?" Emma near-shrieked. "If you think because I went to a bar for one night, you can sue for custody, you've got another-"

"Oh calm down, Emma," Neal said. "I want him for Christmas. When does he start his break?"

"Wait, hold up," Emma said. "Do you want him for Christmas, or do you want him for his break, because those are two different things. Henry's break is almost three full weeks."

"I'm taking the time off," Neal said. "So is Tamara. I want her and Henry to get to know each other. I want a real family Christmas with  _my_ son."

Emma sincerely did not appreciate the emphasis he'd put on Henry being his son, but she really couldn't argue. Genetically speaking, Neal held the cards.

"You can ask him if he wants to come for Christmas. Even New Year's," she said, "but between the 16th and the 18th, he can't come. It's Mary Margaret and David's wedding."

"Oh come on," Neal sneered. "No little kid really wants to go to an adult's wedding."

"Henry does," Emma said, as certain of this as she was of anything in the world. "And even if he didn't, he's in the wedding party. He can't skip."

"The wedding party?"

"He's one of David's groomsmen," Emma said. "He told you at Thanksgiving."

"What kind of person makes a kid their groomsman?" Neal asked.

"David does," Emma said simply.

Killian would have too, she knew, but the idea of Killian getting married was a little too hot to touch, especially with Neal's voice ringing in her ears."

"Doesn't he have any friends his own age?"

Emma clenched her jaw. "Word of advice, Cassidy," she said, suddenly channeling Killian, "if you want me to agree to something, insulting my friends isn't a great way to start."

"Look Emma," Neal said, his voice suddenly going crisp and business-like, as though he were clearly the logical one in this conversation, "Tamara and I are happening, whether you like it or not."

"I don't care-" Emma started, but Neal interrupted her.

"Henry's going to have another mom, and you're going to have to get used to it, okay? It's not just going to be the three of us anymore."

"Three?" Emma said. As far as she was concerned, there were two people in the Swan family, and Neal wasn't one of them, much less Tamara.

"I think Henry should be given the chance to decide for himself," Neal said, continuing as though she hadn't spoken.

"That's what I-" Emma began, but Neal cut her off.

"Don't shout at me, Emma," Neal said,

"Oh I will  _give_ you shouting-" Emma started.

"I'm going to call Henry right now, before you can speak to him and tell him what to say to me, and we'll see how he feels about being forced to go to  _your_ friend's wedding."

"What the hell, Neal-"

"Don't curse at me," he interrupted again.

"You son of a-"

"You go back to your little party. I'm going to speak to my son. I'll talk to you again when you're sober."

"Oh fuck you, Neal," Emma said, as she heard the click of him hanging up on her.

"I've been saying that for years," Killian said from behind her, startling her into a near-scream.

"Oh my god, Killian, don't sneak up on me like that!" Emma cried, clutching her heart.

"I'm sorry, Love," he said, reaching out to grip her upper arms. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," she said, even as he pulled her in for a hug. "I'll be okay," she added. Then she started to cry against his shoulder.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **As I'm sure you all know, Captain Swan is my main jam.  That said, sometimes I like to veer off into other waters and have a bit of a play in a new playground.  In that vein, today we have a bit of an OQ UST interlude in our fun drinking story.**

Regina turned the page in the fairy tale anthology she and Robin had been trading off reading to Roland for the last hour.

The child had been asleep for thirty minutes, but Regina hadn't wanted the moment to end, so she'd kept reading, and passing the book over when she'd reached the end of a story. Robin hadn't objected yet. The only difference was that Regina had started to add a bit of color commentary to the stories.

"Snow White swept the dwarves' cottage, and baked their bread, and washed their clothes," she read. "And the dwarves never thanked her because men never do in these sorts of stories. It's mostly just what girls do while they wait to be rescued."

Robin snorted a laugh.

"Had Snow White had anything resembling a spine," Regina continued, her voice maintaining the cadence of the story, in spite of her snarky words, "she'd have made a deal with the Queen and the two women would have ruled together, a benevolent matriarchy that would shine for all the world as an example of what women can do when they work together."

Robin was properly shaking with laughter now, and Regina felt pleased to have made it so.

"Unfortunately, in this story, Snow White is a pushover, and when the dwarves told her not to leave the cottage unless she were with them, she obeyed."

The phone rang, startling Regina out of her story and causing Roland to start slightly in his sleep before relaxing again.

Robin frowned at the clock. "Seems late for a call," he said.

Regina shrugged. "Emma does keep odd hours sometimes, but I thought she was with most of her friends."

"Most, aye, but not all," Robin said. "I hope someone doesn't need her-"

That galvanized Regina, who quickly crossed into the kitchen to pick up the phone.

"Swan residence," she said formally. "Regina Mills speaking."

"Regina, is Henry there?" the voice on the other end of the line snapped.

Regina frowned. "Who, may I ask, is calling?"

"It's Neal. I want to talk to Henry."

Regina's frown only deepened. "Neal? It's nearly nine. Henry and his friend are doing their homework, can you call again in half an hour?"

"Dammit, Regina, let me talk to my son!"

"What has gotten into you?" Regina asked, shocked. "Have you been drinking?"

"No, but Emma has. I want to talk to my son before she can turn him against me!"

"What in the world are you talking about. I don't think you should be speaking to Henry when you're in this state."

"I swear to god, Regina, if you don't let me talk to Henry, I'll-"

"Grandma, is that my dad?" Henry appeared at the end of the hallway from his bedroom, frowning.

Regina covered the mouthpiece of the phone with her hand before speaking. "Yes dear, but he's very upset. I'm not sure it's a good idea for you to speak to him."

"If he's upset, I probably should talk to him," Henry said with a shrug. "You know how he feels about you."

Regina sighed. Henry was right about that- she and Neal were not fond of one another, and she was probably exacerbating his bad mood. Loathe though she was to allow him to speak to Henry in such a state, it might be the only option.

"Alright, Henry," Regina said, softly, "you can talk to your dad, but I'm going to stay right here. If he says something to upset you, you give the phone to me right away, okay?"

Henry nodded and held out his hand for the phone.

Regina uncovered the mouthpiece and broke into Neal's annoyed grumbling.

"Neal?" she said. "Henry is here and he'd like to speak with you. I'm going to stick around, and you and I can speak again when you're done with Henry, alright?"

"Let me talk to my son, you old witch," Neal said.

Regina bit her tongue to keep from responding in kind in front of Henry.

"Here he is," she said instead, and handed the phone over to her grandson.

"Hi, Dad," Henry said, his voice a high chirp as compared to his father's low, angry tones.

Henry listened to his dad speak for a moment and Regina desperately wished she could hear the other side of the conversation.

"The sixteenth," Henry said, and listened again. "Wow, the whole time? In New York? That would be really cool! I can't though." Another pause. "Mary Margaret and David are getting married on the eighteenth and I have to be there. I'm a groomsman! I could come on Sunday or Monday- Mom could put me on the bus or drive me down!" Henry frowned at something his father said. "No, David asked me special. Mom had nothing to do with it." His frown deepened. "She's not making me do anything, I want to go. Dad, you're not making any sense, I just said that I could come on Sunday or Monday, but I have to be here for Mary Margaret's wedding. She and Mom are practically sisters, so that makes her family. Of course I want to see you for Christmas, Dad. Of course I want to meet Tamara. But I want to go to Mary Margaret's wedding too! Can't I do both?"

Henry was nearly in tears. Regina had to step in.

"Henry, honey," she said, "let me speak to your dad, okay? You can go back to Grace if you want."

Henry sniffled and nodded, holding the phone out to her and looking positively miserable.

As soon as her grandson was out of earshot, Regina brought the phone to her ear and whisper-shouted into it, "what is your problem Neal Cassidy? Of course Henry can both go to his friend's wedding and spend Christmas with you. The two things are nearly a week apart, there is plenty of time! How dare you upset him like that?"

"No kid wants to go to the wedding of his parents' friend. Kids don't like weddings!" Neal said.

"Mary Margaret Blanchard is a very dear friend to both Emma and Henry," Regina said. "It's like he said- she's more like an aunt than a friend. Would you bar him from  _your_ wedding in the spring?"

"Of course not, he's my son!"

"Then you absolutely may not blackmail him into not going to this wedding. I simply will not allow it. And if you continue to try, I will make sure that you never see Henry again, do I make myself clear, Neal Cassidy?"

"You can't," he said, sounding suddenly petulant and afraid.

"You would be shocked at what I can do. Now, you may call again tomorrow evening between four and six, or on Monday between five and seven, and you, Emma, Henry, and I will all work out your Christmas plans together." Regina put a poisonous sweetness into her voice, "doesn't that sound grand?"

"Yes Regina," Neal said, sounding very much like he had when he was eighteen and he'd come to her house looking for Emma after she'd run away, and she had told him he was never allowed to darken her doorway again.

"Goodbye, Neal," Regina said, and hung up.

She turned to find Robin leaning against the wall in the entrance to the kitchen, taking up far more space than seemed reasonable for a man of his size. There was something in his eyes that Regina couldn't quite place, and her throat suddenly felt very dry, her skin very hot.

He didn't move, though it seemed suddenly as though he were caging her. He only said, "that was very impressive, Regina."

Then, after a moment, he did move, but away from her rather than toward her. He stepped out of the doorway to the kitchen and gestured her back to the living room, where the sleeping child could stand sentinel between them.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Happy end-of-finals for those of you who, like me, are in school and coming up on the end of these things. and Happy Whatever Makes You Happy for the rest of you!**
> 
> **We're back to the fun and silliness. Next week is a short epilogue and after that we get to The Wedding and all that that implies! I hope you stick with me, 'cause it's all pretty great.**
> 
> **Once the wedding is done (I think it's 7 chapters?) there'll be another break on this story (hopefully not as long as the last few have been) when I'll be posting a VERY different story. If you're into faeries and war, keep an eye out for The Stars That Listen, coming in early summer to a fanfiction site near you.**
> 
> **In the meantime, all my best wishes go out to finals-takers, and all my love to everyone reading!**

"That fink!" Ruby cried. "That rat bastard!"

They were in the third bar, and Emma had finally made it around to tell Ruby the story of her phone call.

Mary Margaret had thrown her arms around Emma and asked if there was anything she could do. David had suggested finding someone else to stand with him- Jeff, for instance. Mulan had looked murderous and asked if she wanted her to go punch Neal's lights out. Jeff had looked confused and said that only an idiot would think Henry didn't want to go to the wedding.

Now Ruby was calling Neal names over vodka cranberries. The whole thing was remarkably comforting, but Emma just wanted to talk to her son.

"Did you tell him to fuck himself?" Ruby asked.

"Yeah," Emma said, morosely. "Not sure he heard me though, he hung up right after."

"Damn," Ruby said.

Emma pulled out her phone and looked at the clock on the front. It been an hour and a half since Neal had hung up on her- surely that was long enough, and she could now call Henry without being accused of being a manipulative mom.

As though it had been waiting for her, her phone went off with a text message, Neal's name at the top.

_Emma_ , it said,  _tell your mother to mind her own business. Henry is our kid she doesn't have any say in what he does._

Emma's eyebrows raised. Regina had gotten involved? That was probably good. Regina could make things happen. She could keep Henry safe, and Emma too for that matter.

Another text message appeared, this time from her mother.

_Emma_ , it said,  _Neal called here and wanted to speak with Henry. I got the impression he had already spoken to you, so you should know what he wanted. I told him to call again tomorrow after you return or Monday when I can be back here, and the four of us will work out the situation. Don't let it ruin your weekend with your friends._

Emma blinked in surprise. Her mom was going to come back to Storybrooke to help her deal with Neal?

Another message.  _Henry is fine- his father upset him, but I promised he would be able to both attend the wedding and see his father, then I gave him ice cream. Do you know you have more flavors of ice cream than types of vegetables in your kitchen?_

Emma couldn't help but smile it was such a  _Regina_  thing to say.

Yet another message appeared to her surprise, again from Regina.  _I also had a very nice time with Robin and Roland this evening._

"Get it, Queen!" Ruby whooped, having been peeking over Emma's shoulder and watching the news roll in.

That cracked it and Emma couldn't help but laugh, Ruby at her side, the pair of them doubled over and leaning on each other.

Once she was under control again, Emma sent a text back to her mom.

_Thanks, Mom._

Then, after a moment-

_Ruby says "Get it, Queen"_

_That was not for anyone's eyes but yours, Emma_ , Regina responded.

_Past time you learned that nobody has secrets in Storybrooke,_  Emma answered.

The three dots that said that Regina was typing a response appeared, but Emma tucked her phone back into her pocket without waiting to see what she had to say. Instead she leaned over and rested her head on Ruby's shoulder.

Ruby laid her cheek on Emma's head. "It's gonna be okay," she said. "Your mom has enough push to handle way bigger situations than Neal the Nerd."

Emma sat up and looked at Ruby, surprised. "Neal the Nerd? Surely that's not the best we can do."

"Neal the… numbskull?" Ruby asked.

"Neal the narcissist?" Emma tried.

"Too high-class for him," Ruby decided. "Neal the needle-dick."

Emma laughed. "Neal the-"

From a few seats away, Jeff's voice was suddenly raised in distress. "Mary Margaret!" he cried.

"Oh my god," they heard Mary Margaret say. "I thought you were David!"

Mulan appeared from that direction, shaking her head.

"What happened?" Ruby and Emma asked together.

"Mary Margaret whispered something in his ear and grabbed his butt," Mulan said, joining them.

"What did she say?" Ruby asked, avidly.

"I hope I never know," Mulan said.

"God, same," Emma said, shaking her head. "That'd be scarring. Like catching your parents in bed together or something."

"I did that once," Mulan said. "Probably why I'm a lesbian now."

Emma scrunched her nose. "Pretty sure that's not how it works, but since I neither have parents nor am a lesbian, I feel like maybe I'm not qualified to say. Also I'm a little drunk and couldn't argue effectively even if I were."

"Hah!" Mulan said. "So I win!"

"Win what?" Killian asked, joining them as well. "You're looking better," he said to Emma.

"Heard from Regina, things are going to work out," she said. "And Mulan won an argument I wasn't willing to have."

"Still won," Mulan said, grinning.

"What's Jeff's problem?" Killian asked. "When I passed him, he was ordering a shot of whiskey neat saying he 'needed to forget.'"

The girls laughed.

"We've discovered the downside of dressing you boys all the same," Ruby said.

"Yeah, turns out when she's drunk Mary Margaret can't tell you guys apart, so now she's goosing at random," Emma said.

"Best hide your buns, Jones, she's a crazy woman!" Mulan added.

All three girls descended into giggles together.

Killian reached behind Emma and picked up her drink and tossed it back.

"How much have you had to drink, Love?" he asked as he set the glass down.

Emma frowned. "I had the schnapps at Roni's, and I ordered a beer, but Mary Margaret drank it while I was talking to Neal. Then at the last place I had two vodkas on the rocks, and you just finished my vodka cranberry here so… three and a half? I'm not wasted."

"I didn't think you were," he said, "but it sounds like you're not too drunk to dance." He took her hand and pulled her off her stool. "I suspect we'll have to take Mary Margaret back to the hotel soon, and I don't want to miss my chance."

Ruby and Mulan seemed to think this was a fine idea, and followed Emma and Killian onto the dance floor where the house had remixed Christmas songs into electronic dance music.

"I hate this kind of music," Killian shouted into Emma's ear as he pulled her into him- it was too tight on the dance floor to have any space between their bodies.

"House music or Christmas songs?" Emma shouted back, starting to move along with Killian.

"Both," he called, grinning down at her.

The two stopped trying to talk after that. It was too close to try to dance properly. There were a few couples on the edges of the floor who were giving it a go, but for most of them, there wasn't room, and it wasn't that type of music anyway.

This music was nothing but a driving beat with the barest melody over top that sounded vaguely like one Christmas song or other. It was music you didn't bother listening to, you just let the beat drive you against another person's body, turning dancing back into the sexual act it had once been.

Killian spun Emma and pulled her back to his front.

"Look at Ruby and Mulan," he said, his mouth so close to her ear he didn't have to shout.

Emma looked. The pair of them were dancing like she and Killian were- Mulan's back to Ruby's front. Both of their eyes were closed, Ruby had one scarlet-tipped hand just under Mulan's breast, and Mulan's head was back on Ruby's shoulder, exposing her vulnerable neck.

It looked intimate and carnal, and Emma wanted to look away, but they were there, for all the world to see. It was beautiful.

Killian spun her again so that she was looking at him once more. His blue eyes were lit with alcohol and a frenzy she'd rarely seen there, and Emma couldn't look away. His thigh insinuated itself between hers, and he pulled her even closer, one hand on her ass, one creeping its way down her outer thigh.

The music stopped with a scratch, and everyone on the dance floor could suddenly hear the shouting.

"If you don't come back here right now and pay for those drinks, I'll take each and every one of you and drag you back bodily!" a voice was shouting.

"Holy crap, that's Mary Margaret!" Emma shouted, untangling herself from Killian and running over to where she'd heard the voice, Ruby, Mulan, and Killian hot on her heels.

"Where the hell is David?" Ruby asked.

Mary Margaret, still dressed like something out of a low-rent Dickensian Christmas play, was glaring up at a guy who had to be 6'4", dressed like a Santa's elf from Hell. He had four other Hell-elves behind him, apparently ready to fight at his word.

"Mary Margaret, what are you doing?" Emma cried, finally reaching her friend, and pushing her behind herself. She felt one of the others grab her and pull her even farther back.

The huge guy in green leather with the pointy ears was now glaring at Emma as though she were a piece of beef jerky that he would pick up and take a bite out of.

"Oh shit…" Emma muttered, taking a step back.

Killian stepped forward, just in front of her and to the side- not hiding her, but there in case of need. Emma wasn't one to consider herself a shrinking violet, but she thought she might be happy to let Killian shield her for once.

To her eternal gratitude, the bar's bouncers made it to them at just that moment, and the situation was suddenly managed, and no harm to Emma or Killian was done.

They turned to find Mulan, Ruby, Jeff, and David all standing around Mary Margaret, appearing to block her from returning to her fight.

"Mary Margaret," David said, looking bewildered, "what were you thinking?"

"They didn't pay their tab!" she cried.

"Oh my god, do you always have to snitch?" Ruby asked.

"For goodness' sake, Mary Margaret," Emma said, "bars have bouncers for a reason!"

After that little incident, it was clear that their night was over. The seven friends ducked out of the bar hoping nobody would take notice of them as they did.

Their heads mostly cleared in the cold air- all except for Mary Margaret, who appeared too far gone.

"Hey ladies!" one guy called out as they passed. "Wanna see my North Pole?"

Emma sighed and glared at Killian. "Do you know how much I hate it when you're right?"

"How many is that for the evening?" he asked, grinning.

"Four," Emma said.

"I've had seven," Ruby said.

"Men are gross," Jeff said, shaking his head. "I'm never letting Grace near one."

"I'm never letting Henry  _become_  one," Emma agreed. "How much did she end up drinking?" she asked as Mary Margaret stumbled again, and required both Emma and David to keep her upright.

"She drank both of her drinks at every bar we went to," David said. "So, six."

"She also drank my beer at Roni's," Emma said. "So that'd be seven."

"And the schnapps at the beginning of the night," Jeff reminded them. "Eight."

The six of them looked at Mary Margaret, who was the most petite of any of them.

"Frankly," Killian said with a shrug, "I'm surprised she's still standing."

"She's gonna hate herself in the morning," Emma said with a sigh. "Better get her to the hotel and into bed before something  _else_  happens."


	5. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **HEY!**
> 
> **HEY EVERYONE!**
> 
> **I FINISHED MY FINALS AND AM OFF THE HOOK FOR ONE WHOLE MONTH BEFORE MY SUMMER CLASS STARTS!**
> 
> **And to celebrate this red-letter day, I'm posting the epilogue of the bachelor/ette party and on Friday we're actually gonna start the wedding story!**
> 
> **Huzzah!**
> 
> **For all of you out there still working on finals, I hope this makes you smile and just know I'm rooting for you!**

Emma sat up with a start. She'd been dosing in the chair next to the bed she'd been meant to share with Mary Margaret, but something had woken her.

They had arrived at the hotel, and the guys and girls had split up at their rooms. In the girls' room, Ruby and Mulan had offered to draw straws for who would sit up and be sure Mary Margaret wasn't sick, but Emma had turned them down.

"Get some sleep you two," she said. "I wouldn't have been able to sleep much anyway, may as well make staying awake worth it."

As she'd expected, in spite of an unfamiliar bed, familiar arms and alcohol had put her two friends to sleep quickly. They were sweet together, Ruby's head pillowed on Mulan's shoulder. Killian had made a comment earlier in the evening that one of the pair of them was surely destined to catch Mary Margaret's bouquet. It was nice to think of the two of them getting married. She hoped they wore red when they did.

Mary Margaret had been sick once. Emma had barely managed to get her to the ensuite in time, and had considered leaving her in there once it was done, but hadn't had the heart. She'd be miserable in the morning, there was no need to exacerbate the issue by having her sleep on hard tile rather than a decent mattress.

Things had been quiet for a few hours though, which had led to Emma dozing, but now she was awake and wondered why. Mary Margaret was still snoring softly- it didn't seem to be her that had woken Emma.

Finally she realized that the door between the rooms was opening slowly, and saw David's face through the dark, peeking around it.

"Hey," he whispered. "She okay?"

Emma gave him a half smile. "She's fine. She won't be in the morning, but she's good now."

"Mind if I sit with her?" David asked.

"Feel free."

He sat on the edge of the bed beside Mary Margaret, who was sprawled across most of it, and leaned back against the headboard.

They sat in silence for a minute, then David said, "if you want, you could go lie down. Killian's in the bed on the left- by the bathroom. He was playing possum when I left, but I'd be surprised if he's fallen asleep again yet."

Emma frowned. David was blushing so furiously she could see it in the low light of the bathroom, which she had kept on in case Mary Margaret had another emergency.

"Wha-" she started, but David interrupted quickly.

"I rolled over in my sleep and started cuddling him. I was like… stroking his stomach, apparently not awake enough to notice how much hair there was… he grabbed my hand before I… that woke me up. Then I came in here."

Emma was biting the inside of her cheek so hard to keep from laughing, she thought she must be drawing blood.

"Yeah, okay," she managed to get out. She got up and rounded the bed to the door, patting David's shoulder as she passed, but unable to look him in the face for fear she would bust out laughing and wake everyone.

In the dark room, she crawled into bed beside Killian, who rolled over as she did.

"Fancy meeting you here, Swan," he whispered.

"How'd you know it wasn't David," she asked.

Killian snorted, and moved so she could settle her head on his shoulder, her hand on his chest, one thigh tossed across his.

"You smell nicer, for one," he said, pressing a kiss into her hair. "And I could see your silhouette against the light."

"Fair enough," she said, and sighed.

"For the record," Killian said, still with his lips in her hair, "I'm never letting you and Ruby plan something like this again, Love."

"Mmmm?"

"I'm much too old for bar fights, and defending your virtue, and electronic music, and fending off various advances, and holding back hair…"

"You had fun," Emma said, knowing it was true.

"Aye," he said on a sigh. "But I'd have had just as much back home in Storybrooke with you and the lad."

Emma smiled against his skin. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction- not tonight, anyway- but she felt exactly the same.


End file.
